In which my government does all it can to make me feel better about not being able to drive

Can you tell, from the above sign, what the speed limit on this road may be?

Congratulations, you're in the same boat as Irish drivers will be from next summer!

You see, the current Irish speed limits are "silly", because people on narrow, twisty, country roads (we call 'em boreens and they are generally one step up from a sheep track - main difference is if the grass isn't growing in the centre of the road) are booting it at 80 km per hour (at a minimum), which is technically legal, but dangerous:



So in order to make our roads safer and help our drivers (especially young male drivers, the ones who most love putting the pedal to the metal, although they're not exclusively at fault here), our Minister for Transport (that's Leo Varadkar, in case anyone wants to know to whom they should send the bill for the funeral) has come up with this wizard wheeze.

Thousands of 80kmh speed signs across the country are to be replaced with a black and white alternative which does not contain a numeral.

The signs signify that motorists will be expected to use their own judgment in relation to speed without exceeding a limit of 80kmh.

Transport Minister Leo Varadkar said the decision is being taken because the 80kmh signs can send out the "wrong message".

So now, if you're on an Irish road and you're wondering "At what speed should I be travelling, and what is the legal limit, and what speeds are any oncoming drivers I encounter likely to be going?", why, it is all up to you, dear driver, to estimate a safe and sensible limit for yourself! And so will all the other drivers be doing! Though there's no guarantee that your estimation and their estimation will match!

Feck it, I knew the Blueshirts were a free enterprise/free market party, but I didn't think it extended to the national roads!

I must admit, I was amused by this suggestion:

* Motorists will be given the option of having an in-car speed warning from their satnav

Looks like we (or rather you, the drivers of Ireland, unlike myself) will be installing the JohnJoe!

"The John Joe Northern Irish Sat Nav" (Watch on YouTube)

Aren't we a great little country all the same!

There's been a fair bit of comment over the past week about more revelations of how exactly the Top People (it's top women as well as top men) in my green little island manage to scrape the few bob to keep body and soul together.

Like this fella.

God help the poor man, €110,000 (that's $135,470 U.S. dollars per annum, $142, 362 Canadian dollars and £83,571 sterling by current exchange rates) will hardly keep a roof over his head, so he has to take the money from the hospital sweetie shop as a top-up.

People of Ireland, we know where our duty lies: purchase more chocolate for the sick (but only from the hospital shops) so we can keep the management in shoes on their feet and clothes on their back!

Or this wan.

Now, she's pulling in more dosh on €236,000 than yer man in Crumlin (which presumably goes to show why he needs the extra from the Mars bars and Cadbury's flakes to put food on the table), but she is also getting perfectly legal earnings from her private practice - while in the public hospital.

Many's the health minister has come a cropper (including the Progressive Democrat Mary Harney, who went in declaring she would put the health service on a business basis) when taking on the consultants.

Given that our current health minister, Dr. James Reilly, (a)is widely regarded as a lame duck and for the chop in the next cabinet reshuffle (b) has pulled some strokes himself, e.g. he added five locations on his own initiative and with no consultation or explanation of the criteria used onto a list of 30 new primary care centres to be built under government private/public partnership; two of these were towns in his own constituency - fancy that!, there is very little likelihood that the 'outrage' and 'tough tactics' being spouted by our Taoiseach are going to have any effect whatsoever.

But remember: every packet of Rolos, every bag of Tayto's crisps, every bar of Dairy Milk that you selflessly eat yourself or give to a patient to consume means another hospital boss can continue to sleep in his or her own bed tonight!